Nov
Palin Power
Alaskans can have their cake and eat it too
Sarah Palin is back in Alaska. The scandal involving TrooperGate is over with two reports indicating that no laws were broken, and important state issues regarding a new pipeline are in the pipeline as major priorities for the remainder of her tenure. The national spotlight unfortunately brought to the surface some unfinished business from her time as Wasilla’s mayor, and the Governor is not about to shy away from resolving those issues also.
The 15 million dollar hockey rink built for the 10,000 residents of Wasilla is still bogged down in lawsuits, and Palin has returned with some fresh ideas to see the project completed and offer tax relief to residents. “I’m not one who’s afraid to review a situation and see where we can make improvements, where we can make things better”, the Governor said on a stop in her hometown. “I think we can make this thing not only pay for itself, but pay everybody.”
The Alaskan Governor is suggesting that the indoor hockey stadium can provide other uses. “When I think about it, its pretty cold here in Alaska. I mean, it’s cold. Maybe we should have the rink outside where it’s already cold. Because I learned something during this national campaign, criss-crossing across the lower forty eight states. I learned that it’s nice to shop inside, try things on, browse, stroll through the shops. I think the hockey stadium would make an excellent shopping mall.”
The former vice-presidential candidate was criticized during and after the campaign for her outlandish spending sprees, but it appears the effort was more towards research than to self-indulgence. “People with money need places to spend that money. I learned during this historic campaign, that people with money want nice places to shop, nice things to buy, nice places to eat, and this creates jobs. Alaska needs to attract people with money, and they will come here and spread that money around the right way, the American way, by spending money.”
As Governor, Palin has no direct authority to turn the hockey rink into a fashion mall, but she can exert some influence. “I’m still Governor, and I’m hoping there might be some respect for the input I can offer and for the state funding that can dry up like a moose turd in summer.”
Editors Note: For every dollar paid in Federal Taxes, New Jersey gets back 65 cents; for every Alaskan dollar paid, they get back $1.83.